New documentary on international adoption

Stuck is a new documentary that delves into the issues surrounding international adoption.

Here's the description on YouTube:

STUCK is a new award-winning documentary film, produced by Both Ends Burning that uncovers the personal, real-life stories of children and parents navigating a rollercoaster of bureaucracy on their journeys through the international adoption system, each filled with hope, elation -- and sometimes heartbreak.

STUCK steps into the complex human experience of adoption, exploring the challenges faced by birth parents, prospective adoptive parents -- and children.

The film follows Tihun from Ethiopia, Nate from Vietnam, and Erickson and Therline from Haiti on their individual voyages from orphanages in their native countries to their homes with families in the United States. Filmmaker Thaddaeus Scheel tracks the chapters in the lives of these four children, and the three couples seeking to be their parents, revealing along the way the intense hope and disappointment they experience on the odyssey to unite as families. Some stories are heartwarming, showing incredible examples of kids who blossom after joining their families, while others offer insight into the emotional and physical impact institutional life can have on these kids.

(via 22 Words)

A challenge faced by American parents adopting internationally

As far as challenges go, this one has been the most fun!

(From my "cartoon" blog White Noise.)

Sad fact: It's easier to abort than to adopt

Everyone who knows us understands our passion for adopting. Whether they know all the details of the process or not, they realize it isn't easy. The funny thing is, we never hear outcries in the media over the length of time it takes to adopt. But try to ask a woman to wait an insignificantly short period of time before getting an abortion and all hell breaks loose.

Our friend Larry Truitt recently commented on this phenomenon on his blog:

When State laws are proposed requiring medical professionals to attempt to obtain various personal information from women upon receiving an abortion it is considered degrading. That information would include: the reason the woman sought the abortion, including the specific medical, social, and economic factors influencing the decision as well as whether the woman was using any form of birth control when she got pregnant and if so what type. This is viewed as degrading?

Advocates of abortion feel these questions are not necessary and the government does not need to know why each woman chose abortion. Women should have the right to choose, and their decision should not be questioned. While it is not required that the woman disclose this information to proceed with the abortion, they believe that asking these questions is an invasion of one's privacy.

If you want to adopt a baby in the United States, you must submit to a home study. Each adoption agencies sets their own guidelines used to conduct home studies. They must follow the general regulations of their State, but they have the freedom to develop their own application packet, policies, and procedures within those regulations. Prospective parents attend one or several group orientation sessions or a series of training classes before they complete an application.

The home study itself is a written report of the findings of the social worker who has met with the applicants on several occasions, both individually and together, usually at the social worker's office. At least one meeting will occur in the applicant's home. If there are other people living in the home, they also will be interviewed by the social worker.

On average the home study process takes three to six months to complete, but it can take longer through public agencies. The home study process includes: Personal and family background-including upbringing, siblings, key events, and what was learned from them, marriage and family relationships. What is your motivation to adopt the child and your expectations for the child? How will you bring the child into the family unit? What type of family environment will the child be subjected to? What is the physical and health of the applicants, their education, employment and finances, their health insurance and child care plans? References and criminal background clearances along with the social worker’s recommendation are needed before you are considered for an adoption of a child. Some individuals do not consider this a hardship, degrading or an invasion of privacy. It is easier to qualify to take the life of a child then to give a child a home, security, and the benefits of a family.

The cost to get a subsidized abortion is a few hundred dollars. The cost to adopt? Anywhere from a few thousand dollars into the tens of thousands.

I am deeply saddened whenever I am reminded of how our culture celebrates death. Nothing seems to drive that home more than the fact that a woman choosing to murder her unborn child can have it done within 48 hours, while a woman choosing to adopt a child is left waiting years to see it through.

Yes, I'm Aware My Kids Don't Look Like Me

I was at Macy's with Olivia when a salesperson there commented on how cute she was. Noting the obvious difference in appearance, he asked, "Does she look like her mother?" I smiled and said, "I have no idea."

Chinese Adoption Documentary

Wo Ai Ni Mommy is a documentary from filmmaker Stephanie Wang-Breal. It is scheduled to air on PBS on August 31. Here's the trailer...



You can read more about the film here.

Some Light Reading

Olivia occasionally likes to kick back and relax in the morning with some light reading...

There Are No Orphans of God

Every Child Deserves a Home

Please pray...

...for our dear friends, the Flynns. They started the adoption process for this special boy, Jed, in October of 2007 and he was due to come home anytime now. God called him home to heaven instead.

The family is devastated as are all who cared for Jed at his orphanage. The Flynns are an amazing family whom we met on online through our Haiti agency, and we stayed with them last year and were instant friends family. We love them so much and ache for them as we know the pain of a long wait, as well as the emotional, physical and financial toll of international adoption, although we can't imagine a loss such as this. Please cover this family in your prayers as they longed to hold him and now will never have that chance. Jeddy was born without legs, and one comfort to the Flynns right now is that he is running and dancing with the angels in heaven.

Jediah Paul Flynn

July 7, 2007 - June 1, 2009

Our Friends Have Their Son!!

Our friends, Alan and Ruth, were in our travel group for well, years, but then they felt like they wanted to adopt an older child - so now they have an 8 year old boy instead of an infant girl! Check out their blog HERE.

Weary on the Journey...

I don't mean to exclude my non-adopting pals, but really, you have to be an adoptive parent to totally, fully understand how this process wears you out, financially, physically, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, and every other "ally". We are close with China, which is great, but we just found out that we have to have DNA testing done for Philippe and their bio father. You know who pays for that, too. You do. So I don't need to tell you! Just tired. Tired of invoices. Tired of waiting. Tired of stupid things like fingerprints EXPIRING. Just plain weary and tired. So. THERE.

Warning! If you read this you WILL get mad!

We thought about switching dentists when we moved across town because it would be nice to have one closer to home, but then thought we had been going there so long we might as well drive across town – it isn’t every day after all! When I found out that he was an adoptive father I thought, “Well, that clinches it! He will be great with the kids and we will have that in common!

Then, when my mouth was full of novocaine, rubber gloves and dental implements, our dentist told this story:
“My (adopted) son from [another country] has fetal alcohol syndrome so he has a hard time understanding certain things, but he is a good kid. Because of his syndrome he won’t be going to college but was planning on going to a vocational school. I have two older biological daughters, and I put them through college and he knows that. He came to me and asked, ‘Dad? You know how you helped [so] and [so] through college? Could you help me to go to vocational school?’ And I said, ‘Son, when we adopted you it cost a great deal of money – did you know it cost the same amount to adopt you as it did for the girls to go to school?’ He didn’t realize that, you see, because it is harder for him to understand sometimes.”

Let me just say this. It is a GOOD thing my mouth was numb and full of implements at that point. Actually, I may have been speechless even if I could have spoken. I can’t believe that someone would hold that over a child’s head. I can’t believe how non-chalantly he told me this. Like it was 100% totally peachy-keen ok to tell your kid that. Or to even THINK that way! You could do it for everything! “Dad, can we order a pizza?” “No, son, I am still paying off your adoption! It cost a great deal of money!” What about a biological child with health problems? Couldn’t you say, “We spent a great deal of money on your health expenses, son, so no, I won’t be helping you with college, but your healthy siblings, well, THEY can get help with theirs.” Where would this type of thinking end? I am so sorry for the child (now a young man) who has grown up with this.

Ummmm, yeah. We are switching dentists. And it is NOT because of the drive.