Thursday, January 29, 2009

Warning! If you read this you WILL get mad!

We thought about switching dentists when we moved across town because it would be nice to have one closer to home, but then thought we had been going there so long we might as well drive across town – it isn’t every day after all! When I found out that he was an adoptive father I thought, “Well, that clinches it! He will be great with the kids and we will have that in common!

Then, when my mouth was full of novocaine, rubber gloves and dental implements, our dentist told this story:
“My (adopted) son from [another country] has fetal alcohol syndrome so he has a hard time understanding certain things, but he is a good kid. Because of his syndrome he won’t be going to college but was planning on going to a vocational school. I have two older biological daughters, and I put them through college and he knows that. He came to me and asked, ‘Dad? You know how you helped [so] and [so] through college? Could you help me to go to vocational school?’ And I said, ‘Son, when we adopted you it cost a great deal of money – did you know it cost the same amount to adopt you as it did for the girls to go to school?’ He didn’t realize that, you see, because it is harder for him to understand sometimes.”

Let me just say this. It is a GOOD thing my mouth was numb and full of implements at that point. Actually, I may have been speechless even if I could have spoken. I can’t believe that someone would hold that over a child’s head. I can’t believe how non-chalantly he told me this. Like it was 100% totally peachy-keen ok to tell your kid that. Or to even THINK that way! You could do it for everything! “Dad, can we order a pizza?” “No, son, I am still paying off your adoption! It cost a great deal of money!” What about a biological child with health problems? Couldn’t you say, “We spent a great deal of money on your health expenses, son, so no, I won’t be helping you with college, but your healthy siblings, well, THEY can get help with theirs.” Where would this type of thinking end? I am so sorry for the child (now a young man) who has grown up with this.

Ummmm, yeah. We are switching dentists. And it is NOT because of the drive.

22 comments:

Jill said...

ON NO HE DIDN'T????
Where is this loser dentist?
I want to make sure I never visit him.....

Jodie said...

I'm speechless. I can't believe he said that. I'd let him know, too, why you're leaving.

Greg's Wife said...

I'm speechless. Well, not really, but I don't want to curse on your blog.

Vivian M said...

OMG. What a loser. Poor kid, I cannot believe he was brought up to believe he is worth less than his siblings because he "cost" more, or because he has a disability. Argh!

Tracy said...

That mes me sick to my stomach.

Denise said...

Unbelievable! That is really a disturbed thing to say to ANY CHILD, let along your adopted child! I'm glad you are switching dentists!

Amy said...

OH MY GOSH!
My sister, who is 10 years younger, got to go to college & I didn't. It was because back when I was 18 my parents didn't have the money to help me (luckily later they were able to help my sister out). I am not bitter at all about it. Its not like my sister was better than me (right? hee hee).
What your dentist said to his son is just flat out wrong.

Chris said...

Unbelievable! I don't blame you for switching dentists!

GrizzlyAdam said...

You must have fetal alcohol syndrome....because you just don't understand this guy's logic and don't learn the same way.


What a jerk.

DiJo said...

There really are no words.

Diana

Salzwedel Family said...

I'm with Cara. I don't think using so many curse words in a comment would be appropriate.

Ava's family said...

Well you warned me, but I read it anyway. Unbelievable! I think my blood pressure just shot up! I'd let him know why your leaving.

The Thayer 6 said...

I am so angered by this! Words cannot express. How dare he treat his son in such a way!!!!! I cannot imagine, even on our worst day, telling Nicko ANYTHING that would make him feel like less than our son. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Lee Shelton IV said...

I think Laurence Olivier's character in Marathon Man was based on this guy. (Go on, Google it.)

Beth said...

Incredible! I know there are all kinds of people in this world so I don't know why I'm always surprised when I encounter people like this. It blows me away every time.

Jinglebritches said...

Rant on Hunny Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike and Rhonda said...

Oh my gosh! That is one of the worst things I have ever heard! Especially coming from a father...

Sheryl S. Wall said...

Wow, your right it made me mad. Why do people do things like that. Its just not right.

Tracy said...

Are you kidding me? I would have poked his eye with one if he dental tools.

Tracy said...

oops...see I was so mad I couldn't even spell! I would have poked his eye with ONE OF HIS DENTAL TOOLS! There..much better!

Jenny said...

awful, awful, awful.

sick. to. my. stomach.

Dan and Karen Herman said...

Can't even comment because what I'd say wouldn't be pretty. I can't believe he made it through all the background checks with that kind of an attitude.

Karen

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